Coming Out as Affirming

I know I have already talked about how incredible my support system is and, to be honest, I will probably talk about it roughly one million more times. Because I am super duper lucky and I don’t ever want to forget. Or fail to give credit where credit is due.

So this is one of those posts where I focus on my straight allies.

They have it pretty rough. Let’s be honest.

I am queer and so there’s an obvious reason why I am personally invested in the cause of the lgbtq community. It directly effects my life and so I have no option but to feel the wide range of emotions that come with living in a non-affirming culture.

But there’s something really incredible about allies, I think. They make a very difficult choice to stand up for those they love even when they could blend into a heteronormative background and spare themselves the backlash.

My best friend has to “come out” as affirming on a regular basis. She talked about feeling an anxiety but not being able to be silent about her support of me.

“This is personal for me,” she says.

People believe that my soul/blood is on the hands of anyone who condones my “lifestyle choice.” What a heavy charge.

But allies stick it out. They get just as pissed and indignant about oppression because for them it directly correlates with someone they love.

And I am very well loved.

So I want to express the type of gratitude that feels inadequate when framed into words. My survival has hinged on the type of support that I have been freely given and I know that no meaningful journey is meant to be walked alone.

I acknowledge that it is difficult for you at times and I hope that I never fail to recognized that.

All your musterings of the courageous kind.

All the times you normalize and reaffirm.

All the times you cultivate safe spaces.

The questions you ask.

Understanding that you can’t understand it fully, but trying.

Allowing me moments for anger and moments for celebration.

Modeling unconditional grace.

Standing up when you could have sat down.

The times you get more indignant than I do.

Coming out of the closet with me and helping me to board it up when it feels impossible.

Making me feel loved so profoundly at every turn.

For all of these things and more, I am thankful.



One thought on “Coming Out as Affirming

  1. Recently, I keep getting reminded that you’re my favorite. After nine years, that’s pretty damn awesome.

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